My daughter is 21 months old and I have found the best way to get her to listen is:
#1 save the ":no": for when it is REALLY needed. Whenever possible I do not say no. For example, if she is reaching for a nightlight, I will say ":leave the night light alone": or if she is coloring on her hands, clothes, etc I will say ":Hey, color your paper, not your hands":………by telling her what she SHOULD do, she is way more apt to listen. Also, pick your battles. Yes, I HATE it when she pulls out ALL the tupperware…..but it keeps her busy while I make dinner.
#2 when I do have to tell her ":no": I always tell her WHY…..I do not believe in the ":because I said so": discipline. I always give a reason for the no. LIke ":no, that is hot": or ":no, you will fall":……by telling her why she is being told ":no": she is more likely to listen to what I say.
#3 Make a big deal when she does listen. Like when I say ":come here": and she actually comes over the first time, I make a big deal of it. I thank her for all the good things she does. and I limit the oppurtunites to not listen. Like when I need her to go somewhere she does not particularly want to (like to get a diaper change) I just piggyback her instead of giving her the chance to fight me on going.
#4 make the rules VERY clear. My daughter rules are:
-no throwing food
-no pulling hair
-no drinking bathwater
She know what her rules are. so when she kicks during a diaper change, I say ":hey! What is the rule?": and she replies ":no kicking": and promplty stops……..we go over the rules when she is being good too. I don’t just save them for naughty times. One night she was throwing greenbeans from her highchair tray and I said ":hey! What is the rule?": and she looked right at me and said ":no dinking baff-ater!": I cracked up…..but I did pick up the greenbeans and remind her ":no throwing…..": and she added ":food!": it takes time, patience, and practice. But when they know what the rules are, they are more likely to follow them.
#5 The naughty corner (we don’t have steps). If she does not follow the rules the 2nd time she is told, she goes into the naughy corner. Like if she hits me and I grab her hand and say ":no hitting":….if she tries again, to the corner she goes. She hates it. thankfully she listens on the first time, usually. But, DON’T hit your child! Hard though that is, they are too little to reason…..so if you hit the child when you are mad, he/she thinks that he should hit when he is mad. It sucks, but it is the only way at this age. I never hit my daughter. Beucase then how does she know hitting is wrong?
Being that I am the single mom of an almost 2 year old. I work full time, so I really cherish the time I spend with her. I try to make her feel as important in our home as I can. She has tons of ":jobs": she LOVES to do…….she puts all the recylables in the bin, she puts her clothes in the hamper, she throws away lots of things that I give her to throw away. She helps sort laundery, put cans of pop in the fridge. I also give her choices all the time……..her clothes, something we have for dinner, any time she can make a choice, she does. I play with her as much as I can. I still cuddle up with her and hold her while she has her snack before bed. She is such a mommy’s girl…..she listens really well. Not sure if it is because I treat her like a part of our (albeit small) family or if she is just a mellow kid. But she is really good and listens to everything I tell her.
I have 3 kids. My oldest son just turned 3. He went through this as well. What worked for us is we allow him to take a few stuffed animals to bed along with a sippy cup of water. We go through our nightly routine and we remind him that the animals can only sleep with a quiet big boy. If he screams, we go in, take an animal and say ":I think Bear will sleep with me tonight since I am being quiet. You can keep Rabbit and Duck if you get quiet too.": If he screams again, the second one makes an exit. For the first couple of nights he absolutely exploded when we took away his sleeping buddies that he had taken so long to pick out. By the third night though, we had no problem at all. I believe a child this age only ":gets it": if the discipline applies directly to the problem. But discipline like this only works if you stick with it. (In other words Bear does not return to the room once he has left no matter the noise level.) Good luck!
Time out is working better than anything else for my daughter. I don’t just make her sit down though. I make her stand in the corner and she has to face the corner for about five minutes at a time. It didn’t take long at all for her to know what the corner was and start listening a little better.
What kind of issues are you dealing with? If it is tantrums I pick her up and put her in her crib until she calms down completely. She doesn’t throw fits very much either so I am assuming that is working also. I hope this helps!
I think that the form of discipline is different for every child. I don’t spank my daughter, I just don’t think it’s a good idea for a two year old. I know what my daughter likes and dislikes, so I use time outs or take privileges. For example, my daughter likes to go out a ride her power wheels or her bike, if she’s not behaving, she can’t do it. If she throwing tantrums, I send her to time out or to her room. My daughter loves to have my full attention, so going to her room hurts her feelings. After she’s calm I get down to her level and explain to her why she was being punished and what she should do the next time. She has caught on, so now all I have to do is ask if she wants time out and she will get it together. Good luck!
Time-outs! I taught my son really early that when he misbehaves (hits or whatever) he is in timeout on the stair (1-minute for each year your child is). Now, remember, a 2-year old still doesn’t know right from wrong. But hitting, for example, is unacceptable, etc. You have to be consistent with the time-outs. It gets very frustrating at first when they don’t sit in time out, but keep putting him back on the step and eventually he’ll learn. He’ll probably scream his head off on the stair but he’ll get the picture. Also, don’t put him in time-out in his room (they’ll associate ":being bad": with his room and you don’t want that). Good luck!
what we do with our 2 year old is we put her in the naughty corner for 2 minutes each time she does something naughty and she understands that she shouldn’t do it. when we let her out of the corner we tell her what she has done wrong ad she says sorry and gives us a hug and goes about her business. the next time she is naughty she goes right back there. It worked for my 4 year old when she was younger but the main word is consistancy
Time outs. Acknowledge and praise her good behavior. Ignore tantrums and whining.
Hug them, talk to them, hug them some more, growl at them when needed with a simple explanation, hug them, talk to them, growl…..you get the idea. Don’t those little stinkers have you on an emotional rollar coaster??